


Happy New Year

by Jeannyboy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, New Year, New Year Resolutions, New Year's Eve, monthly prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29113665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeannyboy/pseuds/Jeannyboy
Summary: Stiles has made a list of resolutions to work on during the new year
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Happy New Year

**Author's Note:**

> So this story was written using a January prompt list, thus giving birth to this story. Some of the ideas are strange but when you see the list I had to work with, you'll understand. I did not bold or highlight any of the prompts throughout, I'll just list them down below. 
> 
> Happy New Year- Resolutions- Motivation-Goals- Cold- Fresh- Games- Progress- Journaling- Celebration- Bath Bomb- Drinks- Dreams- Hangover- Train Ride- Hiking- Healthy Habits- Snow Angel- Ice Skating- Movie Night- Soup- Icicles- Declutter- Paper Airplane- Snow Globe- Priorities- New Beginnings- Midnight- Confetti

10

This was the best year of his life.

9

Stiles stands, chanting with the other patrons in the bar, counting down to the new year.

8

He was on his way to graduating from school.

7

His dad had finally retired, taking the stress of keeping him alive from across the country off of his shoulder.

6

He was living with his best friend, well, one of, in one of the most exciting cities in the world.

5

There is a set of hands holding onto him, turning him to stare into his eyes lovingly.

4

He's not alone on New Years Eve.

3

For the first time, he gets to kiss someone at midnight.

2

He closes his eyes.

1

This is going to be the best year of his life.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” There are so many people screaming, his ears should really be hurting but he's happily preoccupied. He fists his hands in dark hair, smiling into the kiss as the other man growls playfully. They pull away and Stiles is happy.

Resolutions

2 years later

“I'm going to do it this time, Scott! Really, I am!” Stiles is on the phone with his best friend, his other best friend, Scott, trying to explain to him that this year will be different, This year-

“This year will be the year that I check off all of my new years resolutions!”

“Have you even started?”

“Well, yeah. Of course.” Stiles eyes the clutter in his closet, feeling guilty- and kind of dumb since his friend can't actually see his room- as he attempts to slide the door shut, only for it to get stuck on a box. And a hiking book that was basically brand new. As well as an old crutch that happened to jostle-

“You just caused an avalanche in your closet didn't you?” Scott deadpanned over the phone.

“No. Of course not. But look, decluttering isn't the only thing on my list. I have the list somewhere around here...” His desk is cluttered of course his list was now missing.

“Okay, okay so it's not right in front of me but there's uh...creating healthy habits! Yeah, that was on there! Uhm, finally watching Scream-”

“That one doesn't count.”

“Psh, why not?”

“Because it's a movie! It'll take you like less than 2 hours.”

“Yeah well so could decluttering! Besides, it's a classic.”

Stiles can tell that Scott is rolling his eyes with the sigh that emanates from his end of the phone.

“Okay, sure, so what else? Are you finally going to learn how to not eat pizza twice a week?”

“Hey, hey, hey, that falls under healthy habits. I'm getting there. Gym. Going to the gym and working out is one.”

“You do realize that gyms hand out more memberships in January than any other month and the majority of them drop after February. You're going to be part of that percentage Stiles. I know you.”

“Hey! Unfair! New year new me, baby!”

Scott sighs again over the phone. “Whatever you say. But I think you should look at getting a personal trainer too. Y'know, hold you accountable for you doing a good job.”

Stiles shrugs, falling back into his desk chair. “Fine. I will. And just you watch, he's going to make sure my ass gets in shape.”

“No quitting.”

“No. Quitting.”

The next day finds Stiles at a nice gym, his courage giving way to nerves as he sees the people coming out of the gym are about as buff as he is stringy. It's not that he doesn't have muscle, just that it's hiding and he needs to find it. He'd tried calling ollyollyoxenfree one time and his ex just chuckled. He'd thought Stiles was cute with his skinny arms and at the time, Stiles had been fine living life like he always had but something someone had said once wouldn't let him go this year.

So there he stood, ready to change his life. With a deep breath, he pushed his shoulders back and walked through the front doors.

There was a pretty blonde behind the counter, smokey eyes taking him in as he walked up to her.

“Hey there, Batman. What's up?”

Stiles looked behind him, around him, not believing that she could be talking to him. When he turned back to face her, she had a big smile on her lips.

“Yeah, I'm talking to you. What can I do for ya?” She straightens up, flinging her hair over her shoulder.

“Hi, uh,. Yes I'd like a membership please?”

“Are you asking me or telling me, honey?” She quirked a brow at him, obviously having fun at his expense.

Stiles cleared his throat and tried again. “Hi,yeah I'm Stiles and I'd like to purchase a membership as well as to purchase your finest personal trainer.” Her eyes widened. “ I-I mean, time with...a uhm...personal trainer.” Stiles could feel his face heating up shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his new tennis shoes. (He'd never owned anything outside of Converse and Scott hadn't let it go until he'd bought a pair.)

“Alright, hon, what did you say your name was?”

“Mie- Uhm Stiles. Stiles Stilinski.” She tapped quickly away at the computer in front of her for a few minutes before ushering him to a private room down the hall to her left.

“You can talk to him about what kind of schedule you will want to keep. We recommend starting off with once or twice a week for six weeks and scheduling more gym time at your trainers discretion afterwards. You can call him Joe and he is the best we have. If you're serious about getting into shape, honey he will _work you_.”

Stiles heart raced a little at the prospect of having a man _work_ him but he pushed the butterflies down and kept following Erica (as her name badge handily provided) down the hall. When they got to the last door, she knocked twice before opening it.

“Yo Joe, I've got a new client for you. His name is-”

“Stiles?”

Stiles red face drained itself of all color when the door opened to reveal Derek Hale, his ex boyfriend of a year and a half.

***

“Oh... uhm...should I just leave...?” Erica stood dumbfounded for a moment before deciding to step out of the room, leaving the two men to stare uncertainly at one another.

“Derek...uhm, hey. How have you....been?” Stiles couldn't help but stare at Derek's toned arms and his chest as his shirt strained across it. There was already a small patch of sweat starting to form at the center of his chest and Stiles started to wonder if he needed to worry about sweating through his clothes cause, damn, was he embarrassed.

“I've been alright. What're you...are you actually wanting a trainer?”

“I uhm, I do. Yeah. She said the trainers name was Joe so I didn't expect-”

Derek let out a snort, his lips twitching up into a smile for a brief moment which had the butterflies swirling in Stiles' gut again. “Yeah, there's two other Derek's that work here and since I was the last one to start, we thought it easier if I just went by something else.”

“So you chose the name Joe? Why not Miguel? It suits you more than Joe.”

His eyes flicked over to Stiles and the smile disappeared. “You know why.” His voice was soft and his hands kept fiddling with the cleaning cloth in his hands.

Stiles' cheeks burned some more and he cleared his throat, swinging his arms nervously. “Alright, well, I guess...I guess I paid for your time so uhm...”

Derek nodded, setting the cloth down on top of the disinfectant bottle on a small stand in the corner. “Yeah, so first off we need to discuss what you're looking for in these sessions. I'll start asking you some questions. What is it you're looking for by coming here? Are you wanting to build muscle, lose weight...not that you need to...uhm..” He cleared his throat. “What is it you're looking for?”

Stiles was struggling internally trying not to outwardly balk at his attraction for his ex. He hadn't left due to cheating or abuse. Derek was trying his best to be professional and while Stiles could see that, he could see underneath his professional mask as well. He was also very aware of Derek trying his best not to look at him.

“I don't know honestly. I'd like to get in shape. Even in high school when I was doing sports I could've done better as far as being in shape. I dunno, full body workout I guess?”

He wanted to smile at the way Derek's eyes traveled over him in a quick glance, biting his cheek instead.

“Okay, any health problems?”

“Uh, not since the last time you saw me. Still got the metabolism of a child.” Stiles patted his stomach and grinned, trying his hardest to ease the tension that surrounded them.

He felt a small stab of victory as Derek cleared his throat again, hand over his mouth to stifle his own grin. _God,_ he knew how to get to him. He'd loved this man. He _still_ loved this man now that he thought about it and that thought alone made him start to sweat. He couldn't do this. Not with Derek.

“I uh...I just realized that...I don't know if I...if I can do this with you, Derek. It's not that I don't want to I'm just...I'm scared.” He took a half a step back and there was that heartache, right back on Derek's face, as if the last year and a half of separation hadn't happened.

“You're leaving again?” His voice was soft, not demanding, not accusatory, just hurt.

“I'm sorry. It's too much.”

“Too much? Too much as in you can't see how well I'm doing now that I've pulled myself together after _you_ were the one that left me. So you're just going to quit, like you quit everything else?” There was pain in his eyes but Stiles' heart swelled with pride for Derek when his voice didn't crack. He couldn't help it. He was proud of the man standing in front of him. But he was still a mess inside.

Stiles wanted to shake his head no, to lie, to make it seem that that wasn't the reason, that he was a better person, but he nodded instead, and stepped out of the training room, into the hall, almost running to get out of the building.

***

“You...ran out of the room....like a teenage girl finding out that her boyfriend has been sleeping around with her mom?”

Stiles threw his hands up in the air as he paced the floor in front of the couch. “Not like _that_! And what kind of analogy is that anyway?”

Lydia shrugged, not looking away from the samples of fabric she had piled around her. “Saw it on an episode of the Bold and the Beautiful or something when I got my nails done last week.”

Stiles blinked a couple of times, amazed at the information Lydia's mind kept up with, knowing full well that she had been engaged in conversation with the woman doing her pedicure the entire time. He shook his head, wrangling his mind back to the conversation that had gotten them to that _odd_ moment. “I didn't _run_ out of the room, I stepped out quickly, and then proceeded to run out of the building. There's a difference.”

“Uh-huh, sure. Which is what you think but the woman at the desk sounds like she knows Derek pretty well and probably told him in detail about the horrified look on your face as you almost ran into the glass door itself. Man, sucks that it's not just a rando, it'd be easy to feign ignorance of your clumsiness but it's just a personality trait and he can straight up imagine it. Not to mention that time he-”

“Yes, that's kind of the ENTIRE issue! He knows everything about me. At least he knows me enough that I probably wouldn't have finished the time with him anyway.”

Lydia pauses in her process of wedding planning (not her own of course, but a clients) to look up at him. “Uhm, how about no? Why don't you show him that you've changed, or at least are trying to, and show him you can be better? What's with all this 'new year, new me' crap if you're not even going to try?”

Stiles stops and looks at her, his shoulders slumping as he takes her words to heart. There really wasn't a point. And it's not like he was the one that had anything to prove. He wasn't trying to win Derek back, he'd been the one to leave. It wasn't like he'd be grovelling if he went back tomorrow and took it seriously.

“You're right.” Stiles falls onto the couch, Lydia squawking at him to get off her samples.

New year, new me was harder than it seemed. It was easy to hope and dream when you're all liquored up and standing on top of the world, but when reality comes crashing back down the next day and you realize just how difficult it is for you to stay on task, it really shows how hard change can be. Even when it's for the better. _Especially_ when it's for the better.

***

The next day it was raining when Derek went to work. Erica found him in the locker rooms, a big grin on her face.

“What's gotten into you?” He was gruff as he always was with her. As he always was with everyone except Stiles.

“You're first client of the day is already waiting for you. He's early. Pretty nervous, so go easy on the guy why don't ya?” She winked before stepping out of the room. Derek groaned, really not wanting to deal with people today, much less Erica.

Shrugging it off, Derek cracked his neck to the side before heading to the training room. When he got there, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Stiles was there, pacing like he was prone to do, until the door swung open. He could feel his face drop, and immediately force it back into the face he used for everyone else.

“Hey, Derek...or do you want me to call you Joe? I don't know if I can do that, but I'm offering to try. If it makes you more comfortable.”

“Stiles, what are you doing here?” Derek crosses his arms over his chest and doesn't miss the way Stiles licks his lips at the sight. He'd laugh if he wasn't so shocked and mildly irritated.

“Listen, I'm trying to change. I'm trying to do better. What's the point of new year new me if I'm not even going to try?”

Derek quirks a brow upwards. “That sounds like Lydia to me.”

Stiles groans. “Okay, fine, that last part was but like, me standing right here, in front of you, this is me. This is me putting in the effort to...put in even more effort. I want to do my best and prove to you and anyone else that thinks I don't have it in my to finish something that I can. This is me, standing up for myself, _to_ myself. And I understand if you want to transfer me to a different trainer but Erica said you were the best and...that's what I need to keep me on my toes and to motivate me. The best.”

Derek is silent for a few moments, digesting the word vomit that Stiles had poured out onto him , before he sighs. “Okay, fine. But, I'm not going to go easy on you. You're just another client, okay?”

“Sir, yes, sir!”

Derek rolls his eyes and shakes his head before doing his best to stick to his word and treat Stiles like any other client.

***

“So what are your goals?” It was at the end of their first session, when they were cooling down, Stiles wiping sweat from his face and chugging water comically while Derek stood by and watched in disguised amusement.

“Huh?”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Eloquent as ever, I see.” He rolled his neck and shoulders a few times, stretching out of habit. “What are your goals this year? Or just for your body, I guess. What are you looking to achieve through having a personal trainer?”

Stiles straightens, hands on his hips, looking skyward as he gathered his thoughts. “I dunno, really. I guess just to be healthier? Create healthy habits so I can live longer I guess. I was always harping on my dad to eat better and to start lifting weights and whatnot, guess I don't want to be a complete hypocrite.”

Derek nods, not looking at Stiles. He'd asked the question as his trainer, but he'd also hoped that, being the oversharer that he was, that Stiles would just...spill. He was hoping for too much, his heart beating too fast. True to his word, Derek talks to Stiles as if he would anyone else, confirming their time for another day before ushering Stiles out so he can calm himself down before meeting with his next client.

***

Lydia wasn't at home when Stiles dramatically carried himself over the threshold and into the safety of their shared apartment.

He hung up his coat and scarf, missing the mild winters from home.

Stiles had been thinking the whole way home about his goals for this year. He had hoped that when Derek had asked, he might have meant out of curiosity for his life. But then he'd clarified and Stiles remembered his vow to be professional. Now, he went looking for the list he'd made.

Or rather, the list Lydia had made while he was drunk on new years eve.

He'd found it on his desk after hanging up on Scott and cleaning so that it was more reminiscent of his days in high school versus the mess it seemed to stay while he was in college. He'd tacked it to the fridge for easier access and to keep it within his eyesight so that he couldn't have any excuse.

**Stiles' NYE List**

    * Get in shape

    * Declutter

    * Do more fun things

    * Get out of the city more often

    * Create healthy habits (eat better, drink more water, wash face before bed)

    * Meet new people

    * Be more creative

    * Enjoy the little things




He vaguely remembered Lydia suggesting ideas like drink less and save more money. He laughed now at the memory, at how he'd made such a big deal at having _achievable_ goals.

_“We can't all have the same resolutions. Where's the diversity in that!?”_

He looked at the list now as he reached for a can of coke, hand frozen halfway to the red can. Derek was in the back of his mind as he read the bullet point halfway down the page. He stood there a good 30 seconds, debating, knowing he could just drink water later, wanting to make an excuse. Finally, he closed the fridge and turned on the tap and filled a glass before heading into the living room.

***

The next 2 weeks Stiles does well. About as well as he can at least. He makes an effort, sometimes stumbling in a few minutes late which earns him a growl but he's trying. He's putting in the effort and he can see that Derek sees that and he's happy.

Well...

Content.

Happy was 2 years ago when he thought they were doing good and he could kiss the scowl right off Derek's face.

Happy was leaning into each touch Derek offered, not flinching away like he was burned. Happy was when they were more like a team instead of...this.

“Stiles, stop moving away I'm trying to help you. Your form sucks when it comes to push ups.”

“Yeah well I'm sorry if I can't help it! You touching me now is different!” He rolls over from where he had fallen on his stomach to get away Derek's hands. Hands which had flown into the air as if it was a rattlesnake on the floor instead of Stiles.

“I'm just trying to make sure your form is strong. If you don't do exercises right, not only will you not work your body the way you need to but you could seriously hurt yourself. Not that you have any problem doing that as it is.”

Stiles gets to his feet, stumbling, like a newborn calf. The look on his face was both disbelief and anger melding into an emotion Derek had never seen on Stiles before.

“I'm getting tired of these jabs at me. Of course I'm not doing it right, that's what you're here for! I'm sorry if I get a little touchy when you get...handsy!”

Derek wanted to growl, wanted to throw his hands up and quit but he reeled in his emotions, hands landing on the back of his neck. He paced away from Stiles, counting to 10 before he faced him again.

“Look. I'm sorry okay? It's not like I'm doing it on purpose. We agreed that I would be as professional as I am with everyone else and I am. These are professional touches, I'm sorry if our past history has blurred those lines. I'm really trying to help you, Stiles.” By the time his words came to an end, he'd calmed down. They both had, it seemed. His hands rested on his hips as he stared at Stiles, waiting for a reply.

Stiles' shoulders had dropped and he took in a stuttering breath.

“Okay. I'm sorry, okay? It's...you're right. It's the past history. It's so hard to try and be...not this when we were...it's easier to be cold towards you.”

They stared at each other for a moment.

Derek's voice was quiet as he ask, “Is it?”

Stiles couldn't take the hurt in Derek's voice and in his eyes. It sat there, so palpable, like he could taste it on his lips. He could definitely feel it as his heart beat harder in his chest. He felt like he might choke.

“I'm sorry, I've gotta go. I'll see you Thursday.”

He waited until Derek nodded, eyes downcast as he turned away.

“God, I wish he would just be angry! Like the old Derek! It was so much easier to be mad at him when he would snap at something in an instant, but now he's just...soft. And...vulnerable.”

Lydia wasn't at home again when Stiles walked through the door in what he recognized was the lead up to a panic attack. It had been a while since he'd had one, a full blown one at least, and it scared him. He'd wrestled himself out of his coat, slinging it towards the couch, not waiting to see if that's where it landed or not.

He'd raced to the bathroom, feeling like he had to vomit, to release everything he had been holding inside. The hurt and regret, the past mistakes he'd made. He wished he was brave enough to just tell Derek everything and just start again with him. He wished Derek didn't seem so...fragile now; not that he wasn't strong in every sense of the word—he'd been through a lot in his life-- but now he just seemed unable to hold onto his emotions when Stiles was near. Like there was a band-aid over the crack in a dam, holding back a flood that if he ripped it off, he might drown.

Looking up at himself in the mirror, he could see the new sweat that had beaded up along his hairline. It was too cold outside and the sweat from the gym had dried long ago. He was panicking, spiraling and he didn't know what to do.

So he called Scott.

Because if Scott didn't know what to do, he called Stiles so it seemed like the logical step.

His best friend helped talk him down from his skyrocketing panic. He'd sat down in the bathroom floor, across from the sink, back against the wall. It had helped ground him, his knobby joints pressing into the unrelenting surface.

They'd been on the phone for over an hour now, Scott having calmed Stiles down over the course of half of that time. Other times when it had happened, it had been easier to escape. Now though, when it involved a big portion of his heart, Stiles had been unable to let that worry and panic go.

Now, however, he stood staring into the fridge as he relented all of his thoughts and feelings onto his friend. The friend who had sat patiently on the phone and over Facetime as Stiles had waxed romantic about Derek when they'd met and started dating. It was so surreal now to be discussing Derek in such a different way.

“Stiles, you've got to let the man be himself. He's changed. And so have you. I know it's not easy but what life worth living is easy?”

Stiles bobbed his head in agreement, mouth busy with the slice of pizza he found in the fridge.

Swallowing, he continued. “ I know, I know. It's just so much easier to say all the horrible things out loud and get them off my chest sometimes. It's like the monkey's paw, you think you want something until you get it and see that's it's not what you wanted at all. Thank God I don't have to deal with random deaths though, that would suck.”

“Maybe you guys could talk it out. Obviously not about the past but just like...come to terms with the fact that the relationship is long over with and that if you're so stubborn about staying with him as your trainer, you can set some ground rules or boundaries or something. Doesn't hurt to try. Sounds like he's a little easier to talk to now.” Scott kind of chuckles and Stiles gapes.

“Did you not hear about the vulnerable part? If I make Der cry at work-”

“I _doubt_ you'll make him cry. Unless you do what you just did.”

“What?” Stiles was chewing the last bite, brain working hard to find the flaw in what he had just said.

“Using nicknames you used when you were in a relationship with someone doesn't really garner the type of reaction you want when explaining you just want to be friends.”

Stiles had now moved into the living room, stepped over his fallen coat and face planted into the plush pillows on the couch. “Shit.” He could hear Scott chuckling over the phone as he brought it back to his ear. “Sucks when I have zero filter.”

“Well maybe if you just think of it as another of your resolutions, you'll want to work at it a little more. Like, try listening more than talking.”

“Alright Burr, sir. I'll try. Hey, thanks man. I was really starting to lose myself there for a bit.”

“Not a problem. Just...try. Work it out. I know how much he meant to you. It's hard but...you can do it.”

Stiles stared wistfully out the sliding glass door at the stars and heaved a big sigh. “Yeah...I know.”

***

Stiles was later than usual and for a moment Derek thought he might have just given up after yesterday. He wanted to be upset, be sad about it but he didn't want to mope around. He was stronger than this, stronger than the feelings pulling him back down into that pit he'd fallen into a year and a half ago. Shaking himself, he started to just do some stretches, anything to get his mind off of the fact that Stiles apparently couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him.

He'd paused to get a drink of water when the door slammed open and there was Stiles, chest heaving, coat and hair askew.

“Hey, sorry I'm late. Long story. Well not really but not something I really want to get into. Uhm..” Stiles paused as he saw himself in the mirror. “Shit, I haven't even changed. Uhm...can I say something before I do that? I know I'm taking up time but I just wanted to say that obviously this is going to be awkward. Let's just start fresh. Like the snow outside, the stuff that's never been trampled on er- freshly fallen...fuck... I had the metaphor down and everything I just-”

“Stiles, I get it.” There was a small smile on Derek's lips, a barely there quirk up that had Stiles' heart hammering even faster than what it already was.

“Okay so we'll just act like I'm a new client. Clumsy and late but with a heart of gold and a need to prove myself wrong. Hi, I'm Stiles.” He hold his hand out for Derek to grasp, something he's only done for college professors and possible employers.

Derek could feel the butterflies in his stomach. This wasn't how he'd expected the day to go at all, but he was pleasantly surprised and relieved that he had been so wrong.

“I'm Derek. It's nice to meet you.”

As Derek's hand enveloped Stiles', he noted that Stiles held firm. There was no reaction to being touched, just a slight sweatiness that he was honestly unsure of the culprit.

“I thought the woman at the front desk called you Joe?”

“Oh my God, Stiles!” Derek ripped his hand away, Stiles laughing as he exited back out into the hall and towards the locker rooms to change.

***

Even though they had done their best to start fresh, there was still tension in the room when it was just the two of them. Stiles didn't really jerk away from Derek when he helped straighten his form but sometimes he would tense up and lose focus for half a second. He made jokes a lot, which, while not far from normal, they tended to be outside of his normal style.

Derek had done his best to keep up with his professionalism, but now allowed himself to laugh at Stiles' jokes and not feel so offended when he felt Stiles become rigid beneath his touch. He did his best to couch Stiles verbally but sometimes Stiles wouldn't understand and he needed to physically intervene.

Things went as smooth as they could, given the circumstances but Derek wasn't satisfied with Stiles' progress. With both of them feeling the need to set unseen boundaries, it kept Stiles from loosening up the way the should when trying new things.

It was a nice day when Erica caught stiles as he entered the gym.

“There he is, Mr. Wayne. Derek wanted me to steer you towards the basketball courts instead of your usual room today. Got something a little different planned.” His cheeks heated up when she winked at him and he hated himself for it. Gone should be the days where he thinks of Derek outside of being his trainer. He changed quickly and jogged out on to the court where he saw half a dozen other bodies jostling for a ball.

At first he was confused, not spotting Derek immediately, but the other court was empty. Surely he-

Then he saw it. The triskele tattoo. Derek was shirtless, obviously on said team, while a fully clothed player was pressing up against him in an attempt to get at the ball. The other man should've had the upper hand, he was _big_ but Derek knew how to move.

Stiles watched for a moment, until Derek passed the ball to another player on his team and they scored. Only then did he look around for Stiles and, upon seeing him, jogged over to speak with him,

“Hey, Stiles. I thought maybe we could do things a little different today. Figured it might help us both a bit if we did something with some other people.” There was a lightness about him that Stiles felt, could see in his eyes. He was at ease and Stiles' heart constricted at the thought that he was a burden on Derek's emotions.

“Yeah, that sounds...great actually.”

Derek led Stiles over to the other guys, introducing them in turn.

There was Boyd, the titan that Derek had kept off the ball, Danny, Jordan, Chris and Ethan.

“Boyd is another trainer, everyone else is just here to have fun.” Stiles nodded at each of them.

“This looks fun but won't the teams be uneven with me?”

“No offense but if you haven't been playing long you'll get more of a workout playing keep up.”

Danny smacked Ethan's bare chest. “Be nice.”

Ethan grinned and kissed the air. “Make me.”

“Boys, no sex on the court.” Boyd rolled his eyes at the two other men and looked at Stiles. “Derek suggested you be on my team since he's pretty confident his basketball experience can cover the inexperience you bring to the team.”

Stiles looked at Derek, eyes wide, grin even wider. “Wow! Rude!”

Derek shrugs and steals the ball out of Boyd's hands.

The game progresses and Stiles has fun. He's laughing and swearing with the other guys, shoving at Ethan, trying to get the ball to no avail. He doesn't even feel awkward when he finally gets the ball and it's Derek that is trying to take it from him. He's having too much fun to be embarrassed when his cheeks for flare up at their proximity, thankful that his entire body is flushed from moving around.

Ethan was right, he played catch up more than he actually contributed to the game but it was Jordan that comforted him, telling him it was just for now until he got better.

“You're getting the workout Derek wanted you to get, so I say it's no big deal who wins. It's all for fun.”

“Doesn't count when your team is winning!” Chris shouts as he flies by with the ball, preparing for a shot only for Derek to steal it.

The hour that Stiles has slotted with Derek passes quickly and he's sad to see it end.

“You can come play with us whenever you want, you don't have to be with Derek y'know.” Danny says as he passes.

Stiles smiles at him. “Hey, thanks. I might just do that!”

Derek comes over to Stiles before he leaves, pulling his shirt on over his head as he walks.

“I hope today wasn't a waste of time. You seemed to enjoy it and look, got quite a workout out of you.” Derek motioned to Stiles' chest, at the sweat that had pooled beneath his shirt, making it stick to him.

“Yeah, time to hit the showers. This was fun, thanks.” Stiles means it when he says it, looking at Derek for a moment before the other man smiles and turns away.

“See you next week, Stiles.”

Erica made fun of his big grin as he left but Stiles couldn't care less.

***

Stiles had been training with Derek for over the six weeks that Erica had suggested and it was now halfway through March. Their friendship had blossomed and Stiles felt more like a kid back in high school having gym class with his crush. They had gotten to a spot where both were respectful of boundaries not being crossed, but not so uptight about it that they had any issues.

Derek had even helped him when Lydia bought a new couch and he needed help moving it inside and up their annoying stairs. That day they got in a workout just from doing that. The couch had been an ill fit through the hallway but they had done it without destroying anything.

They'd taken a break while Lydia decided how to restyle the living room. Derek had taken the liberty of looking through the kitchen and jotting down meal ideas for Stiles. He'd even stared at the now-forgotten resolution list on the fridge for a few minutes before Lydia used them for free labor once again.

They were out with Lydia, following her around the city, carrying the “necessities” she needed to style the room, hanging back and talking to one another while she did her thing.

“ So what does 'enjoy the little things' include?”

Stiles was taken aback for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“Your resolutions list. I saw it on the fridge. Forgive me for being nosy but it's what the cops would describe as 'in plain sight'. I was just wondering what little things need to be enjoyed.”

“Oh. Hmm.” Stiles looked off into the distance, really thinking about it. He honestly hadn't looked at the list since he'd put it on the fridge. Derek had kept him pretty motivated with working out and that had been his biggest resolution. He'd also made the list while drunk so there was no telling what his brain was thinking of when he'd spouted it out for Lydia to write down in her curly writing.

“I guess just...don't take any day for granted. Like...look at the stars more. Actually enjoy the taste of my morning coffee instead of just suckin it down. I dunno, little things.” He shrugs, Lydia's bags on his arms rustling as he does so.

Derek hummed in agreement. Little things were so easy to miss out on. The world simply moved too fast for one to simply enjoy life. People had too many demands of others, of their bodies and of their time. It was work, work, work until it was time to sleep, wake up and start again.

He looked up at the sky now, at the color it was, marveling at how the oranges and blues canceled each other out until there was just a blank space in the color of the sky.

It was the next day Stiles came to the gym that he was surprised for the first time in a while.

He entered the room, on time, pumped and ready to go, and Derek was standing there with a wrapped parcel in his hands.

“Derek? What's this?”

It was the size and shape of a small book, thin but hefty. It was wrapped in simple craft paper, nothing fancy. Stiles took it from Derek's hands and unwrapped it.

“Early birthday present. It's a journal. So you can keep up with your progress and anything else you might need to remember.”

Stiles flipped through it while Derek talked, eyes wide in amazement. There were colored sticky notes attached to different pages, sections for his progress and for meal plans and another for healthy habits.

“ I saw on your fridge that one of your resolutions was to be more creative and I saw this in the store and figured you might like it. I just did sticky notes, figuring you could do the creative part and make the spreads yourself. I have a journal, my therapist suggested it while back and I quite enjoy having one. I thought you might like it as well.”

Stiles looked away from the thoughtful gift in his hands and back to Derek. “You see a therapist?”

Derek shrugged. “I did. For a while after...you know, I wasn't okay. But she helped me through that tough time in my life, helped me make some changes that have benefited me and now, my life is a lot better.”

“Oh...I didn't know.”

“You couldn't have. It's fine, I haven't seen her regularly for a while. I just call her up when I need to talk sometimes. I talked to her a couple weeks ago, y'know. When you came back around.”

“I'm sorry if I-”

“No, no. It was good. It _is_ good. We talked and she just reminded me to be myself, do the best that I could to be me and to not pressure you for anything. She told me to write down my feelings and I did. I do. It helps. I hope you like it.”

Derek had averted his gaze moments ago, looking back down at the book in Stile's hands.

“I got the one with dots and lines so you could decide which you liked better. You can just write stuff down or-”

Stiles surprised both of them by pulling Derek in for a hug. He was pulling away with an apology before Derek could react.

“I'm sorry, it's just that this is a really thoughtful gift and it took time and effort and I love it. I really do.” Stiles couldn't hide his watery eyes so he walked even further away, placing the journal on the small stand in the corner of the room.

He stood for a moment, collecting himself.

Of course he would remember Stiles' birthday.

Not only because it was Derek and he remembered everything.

But also because that was the day Stiles' had walked out on him.

***

It was about mid-summer when Derek texted Stiles that he had to cancel their session for that day. In the text he apologized but also encouraged Stiles to at least go to the gym and either work on some of the exercises they'd been working on or see if there was anyone there to play a couple rounds of ball with.

The text caught Stiles off guard, they didn't really talk on the phone or text much. They were friends now but they both seemed cautious when it came to talking outside of their trainer/client spaces.

There were the rare instances where Derek would help Stiles do things for Lydia and they would all have dinner afterwards but those instances were few and far between.

Stiles decided to be the friend he'd want and asked Derek if everything was okay.

_**Derek: Everything is fine. Important meeting that can't be rescheduled** _

Stiles nodded once at his phone, sent a text saying good luck with an obnoxious amount of exclamation points.

Not wanting to spoil his good streak of going to the gym, Stiles headed that way when he had intended to anyway, first stopping by to speak with Erica.

“Hey, Batty, Derek's out for the day. Had something come up.”

“Yeah, that's what he told me. I was wondering if you knew if anyone was on the courts today?”

“As a matter of fact, there is! Boyd and his client are out there right now playing a game with Chris and Ethan. Cora even showed up! Strange to see her here on a week day.”

Stiles paused. “Cora? As in, Cora Hale?”

Erica looked away from the courts back to his face. “Is that a problem?”

Stiles coughed. “Uhm...not really. Except that I haven't seen her in two years since...y'know...I broke up with Derek. She said she'd murder me if I ever broke his heart.”

Erica had a delighted spark in her eye. “Well, hon, you might as well get in there and face the music! I'll be watching from the safety of my seat. Don't want to get blood on my new gear.”

Stiles nodded as she waved him on, swallowing past the lump in his throat. Boyd had just scored when he entered the court so it was all eyes on him when the door slammed shut behind him.

“Stiles! What's up, my man?” Ethan waved at Stiles, a grin on his face. He smiled wanly, half raising his hand in greeting. He was too focused on Cora, watching for a warning of danger, to really care about anyone else in the room.

“Stiles?” He could see her brow quirk up, the beginnings of a scowl on her face as she waited for him to get closer. The only sound he could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears and the steady thumping of the ball on the floor, like a clock ticking down to his demise.

“H-hey guys. Cora. Long time no see.”

“Yeah. It's been a while. Almost _too_ long.”

“Mind if I join?”

He looked to each grinning face in turn. They knew. They _knew_ and they weren't helping him out. The bastards.

“You can join a full game if you can beat me in a one on one match.”

Stiles' smile dropped. “Oh come on! You know I can't beat you!”

Her smile was wicked as the guys backed up and she started to dribble. “Yeah, I know. Just want to humiliate you for hurting my brother. Once I've done that, we can go back to being friends.”

Stiles groaned but squatted down to block her. She moved quickly, quicker than even Derek. He'd watched their family play basketball, it was insane. Cora had speed while Derek had bulk and their other sister, Laura, could easily outmaneuver anyone she came up against. He'd never seen their uncle play but he'd heard that in his prime he was not to be messed with on the court.

The game was short as Stiles simply could not keep up. The sad thing was that he was trying his best. He wanted to prove that he'd improved but playing against Cora was like sending a baby to a lion's den.

After the score was too embarrassing to even keep track of anymore, Cora relented.

After punching him in the shoulder with all her force.

“Ow! Why, why do you have to be violent, huh?”

She shrugged and Stiles could imagine Derek doing the same thing. “Had to make you feel a little physical pain too. You hurt him so I had to hurt you.”

“Yeah but-”

“Calm down, boy scout, I know. Don't think for one minute that he hasn't kept me posted on everything going on. Your game.” She threw the ball at him and he caught it at his chest. Barely. The breath was still knocked out of his lungs and the guys whooped and hollered as they split up into teams to play another game.

“So what are you doing in town?” They'd stopped to take a water break and Stiles had been immediately drawn to Cora.

He watched as she chugged water from a flash the size of her head, waiting patiently for her to speak. Which was really saying something about Stiles.

“Big bro's got a meeting today with the bank to see if they're approving him for the loan to get his own gym started. I got here last night, Laura's flying in tonight. We're gonna throw him a party for his success.”

“That sounds nice. But how do you know that he'll be approved?”

“We Hales have our ways. Plus, healthy lifestyles are on the rise and gyms are having to turn people away for lack of space and availability, even with them being open 7 days a week. You can only have so many trainers on your payroll that can handle x amount of people. There's no way he's not getting it.”

“Oh...okay. That sounds...solid.”

“Helps that I'm dating the branch managers daughter and she pulled some strings to find out for me.” Her grin was huge and struck Stiles speechless as she moved away to take the ball from Chris.

Afterwards, when they were clearing the court for an after school program, Cora caught up with him outside the locker rooms.

“Hey, Stiles. It would mean a lot to Derek if you came. We're gonna go out for drinks tomorrow at Club Lupa. Be there at 10. Big bro gets grumpy without his beauty sleep.”

Stiles snorts, knowing exactly what she means. “Alright, I'll see you there.”

“And Stiles?” The look in her eyes was soft, like she truly meant the words she was saying. “Just be careful. You're walking a thin line and while I like you, and I've forgiven you since Derek has, neither one of us has forgotten. Just...be kind to him. He's gone through a lot.”

Stiles nods, reassuring her that he's doing his best.

Surprise colors Derek's face in the changing lights when he spots Stiles in the club. Cora is hanging on him, laughing and cheering, already tipsy and throwing back another as he sidles up to the group. Erica and Boyd are there, the blonde wrapped around Boyd as they move as one to allow Stiles into the booth.

Laura is there too, along with Isaac, one of Derek's friends Stiles hadn't seen since they'd broken up.

“The twins and Danny are supposed to show up at some point.” Cora practically yells into Stiles' ear as he settles himself in the seat between Erica and Laura. In less than a minute, there's a drink in front of him and a shot in his hand, Cora and Erica start chanting 'SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS' and before he knows it, Stiles is comfortably situated in the realm between tipsy and drunk, his vision blurring the pulsing colors of the club.

He's laughing, his weight being held up by Erica who's being held up by Boyd, when he catches sight of a woman stalking up to their group.

“You all look like you're having a lot of fun. Mind if I join?” Her voice was sultry, dark hair spun in curls that framed her long face. Her body was contoured by a violent red dress that left little to nothing to the imagination.

Stiles immediately smelled trouble but this wasn't his party.

“Sure! The more the merrier!” Cora has her arm around the woman in an instant, dragging her to sit at the end next to her. Stiles can see the woman eyeing Derek and watches as she tries to make conversation with him specifically. To Stiles' satisfaction, Derek is sandwiched between his sisters who are more protective than even he is. His older sister, Laura, had taken over to title of Family Alpha seriously when they're parents had died when they were young and she always had a watchful eye over her younger siblings whether it be across a continent or across a table.

Stiles silently thanked Laura as she constantly fielded questions from the newcomer, leaving Derek to do as he pleased which was mostly drink quietly and laugh at the antics of friends and family alike.

He seemed disinterested in the woman- Jennifer- until she was able to pull him from the clutches of the Hale women and out onto the dance floor. He watched as Derek followed her to the sound of all the women at the table whistling at him as he retreated.

“If she even thinks about leaving her number in his phone, delete it.”

Stiles looked to Laura as he waited for her to respond to Cora's demand.

“Who's going to take his phone tonight then?”

Stiles' eyes widened and he couldn't keep his mouth shut. “What, I thought you were just cheering him on to go out there with her.”

Both women looked at him, all dark hair and bright eyes. It was Cora that spoke.

“We want him to have fun tonight but that woman is trouble. I can smell it on her. Don't ever trust someone who looks like a wolf in sheep's clothing.” She stared at them, waving with a fake smile if one of them happened to look over. “Besides, I heard her in the bathroom before you got here. She's just looking for power and someone trying to start a business does _not_ need that kind of person in their life.”

They watched them dance for a while, talking amongst themselves until the rest of their party arrived.

“Oh good, Aiden, you seeing anyone tonight?” Cora, always the planner.

Aiden grinned and looked around. “Not tonight. Who are you wanting gone?”

“See that woman with my brother? Fetch.”

Aiden gave a little howl and started to prowl through the crowd. Stiles watched as he expertly divided the two, taking Jennifer by the waist while Derek smiled and backed off, seemingly admitting defeat.

Laura grinned beside Stiles. “Excellent. Come on Cora, let's go get more drinks.” She scooted out of the seat, allowing Derek to fill in the spot she'd left.

He was warm and a little sweaty from the press of bodies. Stiles looked at him unabashedly, the alcohol destroying his act of nonchalance.

“Getting tired?” Stiles was holding his head up off the table, looking at Derek with tired eyes.

“Are you?” Derek chuckled.

“No, I was just watching you with miss red dress and now you're back without her. Thought maybe you were getting tired.”

“It's easy to get tired when beauty is only skin deep.” Derek took a swig of the drink he had still sitting at the table, licking the liquid off his lips. He watched the crowd, watched as his sister brought a new round of drinks and shots for the group. Danny and Ethan came back for a breather, trading places with Erica and Boyd as they made their rounds on the dance floor.

“I'm surprised you're still out. It's past 1.” Stiles was a little sloppy at this point, leaning on Derek while still trying to give him space. He knew if he laid his head on the table now he'd pass out and he did NOT want to do that with Cora around.

“I know. I'm gonna be tired tomorrow but I'm just trying to enjoy the little things.” He smiled at Stiles which had Stiles' heart racing. He was thankful for the lights masking the blood as it rushed to his face.

“One night of celebration isn't going to kill me. Whaddaya say?” Derek was holding his hand out to Stiles. Grinning, Stiles took his hand and followed Derek onto the dance floor where they joined his sisters where they were already wrapped up in the music.

There was no intimate dancing, no holding one another, just jumping and twisting to the music all together, laughing and just enjoying themselves.

***

It wasn't until the morning, when Stiles was nursing the worst hangover he'd had all year, that he began to regret partying with Cora and Erica.

_**Cora: Soooo how'd you sleep? 10:05** _

_**Cora: Stiles? 10:47** _

_**Cora: Oh fuck, I poisoned you with alcohol 11:02** _

_**Stiles: Shut up, I hate you 12:34** _

_**Cora: Sure ya do. Now hurry up and get your butt out of bed, I'm leaving today!** _

He proceeded to spend the next several hours, popping Aleve, chugging water and shoveling greasy foods into his stomach until he felt better. He watched Derek's face go from amused to disgusted in a manner of minutes. He figured his punishment was seeing the disgusting food going into his body and knowing it was technically his fault.

“You got any dreams for this year?”

Cora had asked the question as they sat eating an early dinner with her before her flight.

“Dreams? You mean goals?” Stiles was confused.

“No, like, actual dreams. Hopes I guess? Like, Der Bears' dream for the last 2 years has been to open up his gym and look, he's already on his way. He's got the loan, looking for properties, he's got it going. What about you? Something you would like to happen, whether or not it's plausible.”

Stiles thought about it, trying not to look at Derek as he could feel his ears turn red.

“I, uhm...I don't know. Halfway through the year and I can't think of one. Guess I'll have to wait for next year to start dreaming.” He smiled at them, doing his best to fool everyone around him, himself included.

Tuesday finds Stiles at the gym, a mirror of the time Derek stood waiting to give him his present. He'd asked Cora for as many details that she knew about her brothers new business he was wanting to start and had gotten a few stickers made up with what was a possible business logo overnighted to his apartment over the weekend.

When Derek finally came in and opened it, his small smile stretched into a full blown grin. “Bath bombs? And stickers? Stiles...”

“Not just any bath bombs, they've got essential oils and stuff. They're made specifically for body builders and gym buffs. Y' know, to help with the sore muscles and stuff. The stickers are just what I thought would be a cool logo for your gym. It's the beta model of course.”

Derek was looking at the stickers: a clear vinyl background behind a red triskele. Beneath it were the words “Hale Fitness”. It had Derek chuckling as Stiles tried to explain that he wanted to go with Haleth and Fitness but didn't want it to sound like someone had a lisp.

“Not that there's anything wrong with lisps. I love lisps, I just didn't think, y'know, for your business-”

“Stiles. Hush. They're perfect. Thank you.”This time when they hugged, they held it for a few moments before pulling away. Their smiles didn't falter.

***

Stiles had ceased being one of Derek's clients since he'd dropped to part time at the gym now that he was trying to spend the rest of his days setting up his own business. Stiles still went to the gym, to workout on his own and pick up a game of basketball when Derek's friends- his friends now too- were there.

It's starting to get cold again when Derek calls Stiles up one morning.

“Do you want to get out of town for the weekend?”

Stiles gaped like a fish, very glad Derek had called him instead of face timed him like he had twice before.

“Uhm, yeah? What did you have in mind?” His voice was quizzical; he was unsure of the context and was trying to be cautious.

“The guys and I wanted to go hiking for a long weekend and there's one extra space. I figured, if you were interested, you could fill in.”

Stiles thought about it for a moment. Pretended to think about it longer. He'd wanted to get outdoors more but this year it just hadn't happened. He figured this would be a good time to do it, probably the only time without going further south to escape the oncoming weather.

“Alright, yeah. Sounds like fun!”

They talk a little longer about the trip, about what Stiles needs to pack and where they're going. They continue to talk, their discussions leading far outside the realm of why Derek called in the first place. It's almost two hours later when Stiles is finally putting the phone down, a smile on his face.

Lydia walks in the room, hair wet from a shower. He remembered waving to her as she came home, walking past him, but his thoughts had been preoccupied.

“What are you smiling about?”

“Hm? Nothing.”

She runs her fingers through her hair, undoubtedly weaving some hair health serum into the strawberry blonde locks. “That smile on you face and the fact that you _just_ got off means it's a little more than nothing. Who was it?” Her voice was firm yet playful.

“No one I swear!”

“Don't make me call you by your full name, you know I'll just steal your phone and find out either way so why don't you just tell me?”

Stiles rolls his eyes as he flops down on the couch. “ugh fiiiine, mom. It was Derek. And he called to see if I wanted to go hiking with him and some friends next weekend.”

She was now scrunching her hair in the mirror on the wall. “Mmm sure. Then why were you talking about the importance of good role models, i.e. Batman and Superman vs Spiderman and how it's important for children to make a connection with said role model when I walked in and by the time I got out of a lengthy shower you were discussing how waffles in moderation are totally okay so long as you substitute at least half of the syrup for fresh fruit?”

She had gone on a tangent, her computer-like brain dumping lines of their conversation verbatim like it was nothing. He waited for her to continue, his ears and cheeks reddening as he listened. She turned around, still talking.

“Stiles, I think it's great if you and Derek are back to comfortably talking to each other like that, building a relationship up again, I just want you to be careful. I think that if you wanted to try again with Derek, there's no logical reason as to why you shouldn't.”

Stiles started to sputter, his mind and heart racing as his friend basically calls him on his bullshit before he's even made an argument for himself.

“But, no- Lyds that's not what's going on!” He follows her as she retreats back into the bathroom, trying to shout over the hair drier.

“I promise you, that I'm not falling for him again! We're just friends!”

“Whatever you say Stiles! It's not me you've made a promise to!”

He huffs, giving up when she turns it to a higher setting, walking back into the living room to mope and take break from reality by switching Netflix on.

Stiles is yawning when they board the train, his pack heavy on his back as he follows Derek to a seat. They were the first ones there and had decided to save seats for everyone. This included laying backpacks lengthwise across seats as well as Stiles being an absolute child and laying across them.

“Sit up, you're going to fall asleep again and I don't want to haul you out of someone's seat and embarrass you.”

Stiles grumbled but sat up anyway. He blinked a few times and some familiar faces came into view.

“Erica?”

“Batman!”

She slung her bag down in the seat opposite to him, way too energetic for the time of day.

“What are you ding here? I thought I was the extra spot.”

He watches as Derek turns around from where he'd been digging through his own backpack, spotting the blonde. His eyes immediately went to Boyd.

“Boyd, what the hell? I thought you gave me the extra spot?”

Boyd shrugs. “Well we got to talking and Ethan brought Danny along anyway so it ended up working out. Didn't think I needed to tell you.”

Derek stood in disbelief. “Uhm, what about the extra tent? You had our tent so I didn't pack an extra.”

“Danny brought his for him and Ethan. Jordan said you and Stiles could use his and he'll hunker down with Aiden. See? No problem. We got it covered, Mr. Businessman. Trust us, you've got a lot on your plate. This is supposed to be fun.”

Derek shook his head and blinked, muttering under his breath but sat down anyway. They didn't have to wait long for the other half of their group to board. They jostled around in their seats, each one finding a comfortable spot for the ride ahead. Erica and Boyd sat across from Derek and Stiles while the other four sat across the aisle. It seemed that everyone was a little more alert than Stiles.

He found this out for a fact when he woke up to a gentle nude to his shoulder. He'd fallen asleep on Derek and when this realization hit him, his face blazed red and he pouted.

“Why didn't you guys wake me up sooner?”

“Figured you'd need all the energy you could get for the hike. We've got a long day ahead of us.” Derek was amused and it sent Stiles' sluggish brain into overdrive. Lydia's words echoed in his mind. He rubbed his hands over his face, stifling a yawn and he stretched in his seat.

“Whatever. Let's get moving.”

They waited patiently for their turn to exit the train, Stiles' backpack feeling heavier than before but he knew it was just the heavy feeling in his gut.

“You hate me. Derek, you could've just told me this instead of pulling me all the way out here and making me suffer.” Stiles was dripping with sweat at the back of the pack. His feet already hurt, he hadn't listened to Derek about breaking them in before the trip. He'd literally made a mess of his closet grabbing them out of it that very morning. He regretted not listening now.

He could hear Derek chuckling from ahead but he couldn't hear anyone else. They'd forged on, allowing Stiles to form his own pace while Derek stayed back with him. He could barely see Erica's blonde hair up ahead but before too long it too was lost to the greenery of the forest trail.

Derek stopped beside a big boulder that stuck out of the ground, taking a swig from his canteen while he waited on Stiles.

“No need....to wait....for me.” Stiles huffed between words. The group had set a fast pace when they had started and Stiles had lost his breath in his attempt to keep up. Hiking was different than running on a track or playing ball. The ground was uneven and the trail they were walking was slowly inclining which made Stile's lungs ache.

“If I don't you'll get lost. Plus, I'd like to see your first hiking trip. You always said you'd go with me and never did. I'm very curious and don't want to miss out.” His smile was mischievous and Stiles swatted at his arm with little force.

“You suck.” He grabbed Derek's canteen and chugged once before stubbornly continuing, not waiting for Derek to catch up.

Which, of course he did. He actually stuck by Stiles' side even when Stiles started walking slower due to the pain in his feet.

“Come on, let's sit down on that log up ahead. You need a break.”

“I can go on.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “It's not that I don't think you can, I just think you need to take a break so that you don't completely ruin your feet. You're already going to have blisters cause you didn't walk around in them like I warned you you needed to. Please just listen. If not as my friend then as a former client of mine. I don't want you to get hurt.”

Stiles could hear the edge to Derek's voice, could hear the concern it held.

So, when they got to the log, Stiles sat down on the log. Derek took the backpack from his shoulders and sat it on the ground before setting himself next to Stiles.

“I just want you to have fun. To see the sights. You said so yourself that you wanted to get out of the city more.”

Stiles squinted into the trees, trying to figure out when he might've said that. Instead of worrying about it, he shrugged and took another drink of water- from his own canteen this time.

“I am having fun. This is fun. It's also just a pain in my ass.”

“Like you?”

Stiles is laughing before he knows it, laughing so hard that tears prick the corners of his eyes.

It makes Derek laugh too and they sit there for a while longer enjoying the moment.

When Stiles and Derek finally make it to the others, they've gotten most everything set up. It looks like a well used campsite, off the trail by a couple hundred yards; Stiles had passed right by the smaller, hidden path that had led them to the actual camp. Erica, Boyd and Jordan were the only ones there, the other part of their group having gone ahead.

“I don't understand. Their tents-”

“Put on your swimmies and we'll show you what we mean.” Erica said pulling a pair of thin flip flops from a side pocket in her bag; Derek dragged him towards what would be their shared tent. Stiles assumed there was a river nearby they would be going to, which was a nice thought. He'd like to rinse the sweat and dirt from his skin.

He followed him down the path he and Derek had just taken, continuing to follow the original trail once they hit it. They hadn't walked long before Stiles could hear a roaring sound. When they broke through the wall of trees, he gasped at the sight in front of them.

There was a waterfall. The first one he'd seen since he was a kid on a trip with his parents. He watched as Erica started to strip off her clothes, a bikini revealed beneath. Boyd, Jordan and Derek followed suit before running to the edge of the water and wading in. Stiles stood staring for another moment before his senses came to him and he did the same.

“The water is too shallow to jump from the top of the waterfall, but there is a small crevice behind it that's fun to swim into.” Derek explains. Stiles nodded, immediately. Standing up fully, it reached about midway up his abdomen.

Stiles followed Derek as he waded through the water. Stiles had a hard time looking away from Derek, trying his best to hide his gaze when the other man looked his way. They didn't stay in the water long after a chill wind pushed clouds in front of the sun. They hadn't brought towels but by the time they'd made it back to the campsite they were dry and ready to burrow back into their clothes.

The afternoon and evening were spent talking and laughing, enjoying the company of so many friends. Aiden brought out a flask that was full of the most potent whiskey Stiles had ever tasted. It loosened everyone up and before too long, Stiles was talking freely about things he'd only ever admitted to Lydia. Of course, he was talking to Erica while Boyd was off finding some more fire wood. She'd snuggled in close to him, one of Boyd's flannels draped over her and they began to talk. '

Oddly enough, she had brought up the subject of dreams, similarly as Cora had but not the same way.

“Stiles, Batty, Batman, my maaaan.”

Stiles was laughing freely as she laid on his shoulder. They were propped up by a tree, close enough to feel the fire but far enough away that Stiles couldn't hear individual conversations unless they were being told loudly, like by Ethan who was going on about the last time he and Danny had hiked.

“Yes, Catwoman? How may I help you?” He couldn't stop smiling, the alcohol giving him enough of a high that he was content with anything and everything happening around him. Not that he hadn't been having fun, just that he felt...happy.

“Dreams man. They're so weird. Like one minute, you're dreaming and the next you're awake but....but you never woke up from you dream.”

Stiles snorted. “Did you smoke something too?”

Erica had her tongue pinched between her teeth and was shaking her head. “Nah, man. I just have these intense thoughts. But do you know what I'm talking about?”

He thought about it for a while. He did know what she was talking about. He remembered those kinds of moments. He hadn't had one in a long time. It gave him a pang of hurt in his chest to think about it.

He looked over at Derek who was talking to Jordan about something. There were hand motions, he didn't even want to try and decipher what they could possibly be talking about. But looking at Derek's face, he was alive. He was content. He'd seen those soft eyes, that content smile aimed at him once upon a time.

No, not so long ago.

But those dream moments, _they_ had happened once upon a time.

Lydia's words came back to him then. He could try. There was hope.

Cora's words resurfaced as well, that pang of hurt pinging in his chest once again. _He's been through a lot_.

By the time Stiles' mind had calmed to the point he felt he could make Erica understand what those words meant, she'd jumped up into Boyd's arms as he returned.

Derek looked over at him, flashed him a smile, a question in his eyes.

Stiles flashed a thumbs up, mouthed the words _I'm good_ before settling back to watch all of his new friends enjoy the weekend.

When Stiles woke up the next morning, he was stretched out on his back in the tent, one hand curled over his stomach while the other was warm, wrapped up in anothers' grip. Blinking sleepily, Stiles saw that Derek was still asleep, his own hand holding onto Stiles'. It was still dark outside, his mind was still addled with alcohol, and Stiles was still too tired to care.

The sun was finally up when Stiles came to a second time. Derek was gone but his arm was still outstretched to the other side of the tent. He pulled it back towards him, clenching his fist open and closed before putting on his brave face and stepping outside of the tent.

After another day of hiking and another night where Stiles honestly didn't get much sleep, his mind addled with dreams that both scared him and provoked feelings from years passed. Derek was there, of course, his heart bared to Stiles while stiles ran away, lost in the woods, tripping and falling over every exposed branch he could clearly see but not avoid. When he stopped to catch his breath, finally having found a clear path, there was Derek at the end of it, waiting patiently for him to return.

Stiles woke in a cold sweat while it was still dark. Looking at Derek who was turned away from him, hair ruffled as he grumbled to himself in his sleep, Stiles exited the tent.

Everyone was astonished when they awoke to a clean campsite, especially considering clumsy Stiles hadn't woken them.

“Couldn't sleep. My feet kept me up all night. Gonna soak them puppies when I get home tonight.” Stiles laughed when pressed about his uncharacteristic actions.

The hike back to the train station was rough but not unbearable. Weary from a long weekend away, the group didn't stray too far ahead of Stiles and Derek.

“You feeling alright?”

The look of concern on Derek's face when he looked at Stiles made Stiles' heart pound.

“Yeah, of course! Totally missing coffee, excited for THAT.”

His words made little sense but knowing Stiles, Derek huffed past a smile and forged on without question.

When they're waiting for the train, eating gorging themselves on sandwiches from the deli there, Ethan and Danny are whispering amongst themselves before Ethan speaks up.

“Hey Stiles, what do you do for New Years?”

Sandwich halfway to his mouth, Stiles pauses comically, train of thought crashing to a halt as he thinks about the question. Straightening himself, he answers, confused.

“Normally just me, Lyds and Jackson out at a bar or at home. Nothing too extravagant.”

“Why don't you come to my place? This year I'm throwing a big party. Gonna be fuuuun.”

Stiles splutters, unsure of how to respond. He looks at Derek as if he can help him.

“You can bring your friends too. The more the merrier!” Danny helps him out, Stiles smiling gratefully at him.

“Thanks, uhm, yeah. That sounds fun.” He's buzzing as he finishes his lunch, excited once again for the new year.

***

“Please don't ever buy anything this awkward to carry without also hiring movers.” Derek grunts as he carries the other end of a huge area rug up the stairs. Stiles is on the other side, struggling to keep a hold of his end and walking up the stairs backwards simultaneously.

“Listen, it's Christmas, I'm already strapped for cash as it is.” As he says this, he miscalculates, trying to take another step after the top one, falling flat on his ass. He's standing again in no time, ears pink, rubbing at what will surely be a bruise. “But deal.”

Derek chuckles, waiting patiently for Stiles to grab the other end. They're almost at his apartment and he can't wait to lay down. After a couple minutes of rearranging, Stiles and Derek have the rug rolled out and situated the way Stiles is at least 87% confident Lydia will like. He looks it over, proud of himself.

The white faux fur is plush and the color is crisp. He'd made Derek take his shoes off at the door, right beside his, so they wouldn't drag dirt onto the rug. He wasn't sure how long it would stay pristine, but knowing Lydia, it would be just as beautiful the last day she has it as it is right now.

Stiles sighs and turns around. Derek looks on, confused, while Stiles lays with his back on the rug and starts to flap his arms and legs, much like one would do to make a snow angel.

“I can't wait until we get some real snow.”

He opens his eyes when Derek stoops down to stare at him, blocking out the overhead light.

“Real snow? You know we got snow last year.”

“No, I mean like a _real_ snow. Like the kind you see in Hallmark movies. The kind that not only makes everything beautiful but sticks around for longer than two days.”

“And you're hoping we get some this year?” Derek asks as he sits back on his heels, watching Stiles hold himself up on his elbows.

“We better. I've hoped for snow every year since I moved here. I thought New York was supposed to have loads of snow?

Derek shrugs. “Only in the movies.”

Stiles rolls his eyes but he's smiling.

***

It's a week later, so close to Christmas and Stiles is getting anxious. He's been trying to decide what to get Derek for Christmas. It was easy when they had been dating, and even easier when they _hadn't been_ but now he was unsure of the etiquette. They were friends again, talking and texting more often like they used to. Stiles was one of Derek's first clients when he opened Hale Fitness and they had gotten back to easily spending time with each other without worrying what the other might be thinking.

He'd had the day off and had been in his pajamas the whole day, spending it alternating between watching TV and looking up gifts online. He still had a couple days, if he ordered something by the next afternoon, it should be there in time for him to wrap it and get it to Derek before he left to fly back to California to spend the holiday with his family.

He's scrolling through an unhelpful Buzzfeed gift list when Derek calls him.

“Speak of the devil...” Stiles mutters under his breath before answering the phone cheerfully.

“Der, what's up?”

“Where are you?”

“Uhm, at home? Lounging in....my loungewear...” He shakes his head, bopping himself of the forehead with his palm.

“Have you left at all today?”

“No? Why? Are you going to lecture me about not leaving my apartment? I haven't even looked outside today, Derek, sometimes it's okay to be-”

“Okay great. Why don't you get dressed, like bundle up, and I'll meet you at your place? I have a surprise.”

Stiles is struck speechless for a moment-- only for a moment-- before he starts to splutter. “Derek, what-”

“And don't look outside. Just trust me.”

“Okay so you're asking me to bundle up because we've entered a nuclear fall out during my afternoon nap and you want to prolong my freak out. Okay cool, love it.”

He can hear Derek chuckle over the line and call him a dork before the line goes dead.

Stiles gets up and _reeeallly_ wants to move the curtain to see outside.

But he doesn't.

He's pretty sure it's flurrying and Derek just wants to show him the snow. That's fine. He'll let him have this. So he bypasses the windows as he heads back to his room, dressing in warm layers for whatever Derek has planned.

He doesn't question his friend when Derek shows up and ties a scarf around his eyes and leads him down the stairs. It's not as dark when they hit the sidewalk, the streetlights' glow reaching his eyes through the blindfold, but he still can't see anything. He clasps onto Derek's arm when it's offered, not even caring what the common passerby might see. He certainly can't see anything so why should he care?

They walk a few blocks before Derek crowds him onto the subway. They're pressed together in the small space and for a moment, Stiles allows himself to daydream that the last part of his life that Derek wasn't there for never even happened. He imagines that this is a romantic gesture from Derek for some anniversary they would be celebrating. Maybe an engagement.

The thought has his laughing to himself.

“What are you smiling about?” Stiles is startled when he can feel Derek's breath on his ear. He must've been smiling without knowing it.

“Nothing. Just wondering how many of your brain cells are exhausted from planning such an elaborate gesture.”

He feel a gentle shove in his side and he tries to control himself from bolting to the side into a stranger. “Haha, so hilarious.”

Stiles' smile grows wider and he enjoys the rest of the ride pressed into Derek's side in silence.

“Alright, you ready?”

“I don't know if I am. You know, when people get used to living without one of their senses, they're never themselves when it's finally restored. It might do me better to keep it....on”

Derek sighs throughout Stiles' dramatics, whipping the makeshift blindfold from his eyes so that his last word comes out as a stunned breath.

They stood in Rockefeller Center, facing the giant Christmas tree, the skating rink between them and it. It was moderately populated and the color from the lights made the scene pop. The best thing about it, the factor that made it look like a Christmas card, was the snow that heavily blanketed the area and the giant snowflakes that continued to fall.

Stiles was actually speechless. His mouth hung open and he could feel his heartbeat start to pick up.

“I'll take your silence as a good sign.” Derek's words brought Stiles back to reality and he turned to him.

“No. I mean yes, yes it is a good sign. A very good sign. Derek, this is, this is beautiful.”

Derek smiled and looked at his feet, hands deep in his pockets as he shuffled his feet around. “Yeah, well, I didn't really do anything. I can't control the weather but I thought...I thought you would like this.” When he finally looked up, and that smile was directed at Stiles, his heart clenched.

“No, this is perfect. You took me out blindfolded so that I could see this as a surprise and really it's...” Stiles stopped himself before he choked out the word _romantic_. He recovered quickly, stuttering over the word “perfect” before looking back to the scene.

“Hey, well it's not over. I thought maybe we could go skating.”

Stiles' eyebrows shot upwards and his face got red. “You do realize that if we do that, you'll be witnessing the first ever live action scene from Bambi. I don't know, that might be a good thing. They didn't want to employ Eddie Murphy in a dragon costume but maybe they'll see how perfect I am for the role. You think any Disney big wigs are here?”

Derek is full on laughing now and Stiles' heart clenches at the sound. It's beautiful and he wants to kiss him, right then and there.

But he doesn't. He clings to his new resolution of keeping to his word, of keeping priorities straight. He'd missed this, missed spending time with Derek and didn't want to lose it again when he inevitably fucked it up.

He followed Derek to where they checked some skates out and got changed. When they got to the ice, Stiles did his best to put on a brave face and do it himself but he failed miserably and ended up fastening himself to Derek's arm and doing his best to not drag them both down.

Once they'd done a couple laps and Stiles got into a rhythm, he allowed his thoughts to wander and had fun not thinking about anything except the amazing scene he was in. He thought of his mom, about how much fun they would have popping popcorn and watching the Hallmark channel at Christmas time. He thought about the first Christmas he'd slipped up and said how he wished he could be in the shoes of the woman on screen. He'd gotten quiet and at the end of the movie his mom had reassured him that it was okay. That love presented itself differently to everyone and that if we all loved the same, the world would be a pretty dull place.

Tears pricked his eyes but Derek spun him around and he was laughing and terrified and the tears dried in the cold air and he was _happy_.

It was dark and Stiles was chilled to the bone by the time he and Derek were walking up the sidewalk outside his apartment. They were in the process of saying goodbye when they saw Lydia walking towards them.

“Hey Lyds, what's up?”

“Nothing, I'm having dinner with a client before heading over to Jackson's. He's had a rough day and really needs to talk to someone.”

Stiles deflated. “Oh. So I guess we're not doing Chinese and Chick Flicks?”

Lydia cursed. “Oh honey, I'm sorry. This dinner was last minute and...Jackson's ex came into his work place today and it really hurt him to see him. Apparently there are still feelings and-” Lydia seemed to realize that Derek had not left and stopped talking.

“Anyway, yes. We'll have to reschedule CCF. I really hate it, I was looking forward to watching While You Were Sleeping. I really want to but-” She looks over to Derek who had yet to make an exit. She sees his downcast eyes, pretends like she hadn't _actually_ planned for this to happen and suggest- “What about Derek? Derek, you like Chinese food. Here, order some from down the street and y'all have fun. I'm running behind as it is. Love you, boo!” Much like a passing character in a movie that continues the plot line, she's shoving money into Stiles' pocket before trotting off at an astoundingly fast pace in heeled boots that Stiles' was sure would be a death trap to anyone else.

“Well that was...” Stiles starts.

“Intriguing.”

The two of them stare after her for a moment before turning back to each other.

“Well, whadda say? A little bit of take out gonna hurt that physique or can are you gonna bail on me too?”

“Are you guilt tripping me right now?”

Stiles smiles as he starts back towards their apartment building. “Maybe.”

They're halfway through the movie, quietly eating their dinner, the bag of crispy soup noodles sitting between them. Stiles had scooted to the middle, knowing from past experience that Derek was not a middle-of-the-couch kinda guy. He'd allowed him this, Derek being the guest, only moving once they'd finished their food. Of course it was only to lean far enough to put their plates on the coffee table before sitting back into his spot.

They sat in comfortable silence, commenting on the movie every once in a while, laughing at times and generally enjoying their evening together. Once they're movie ended, they decided to watch another, Stiles getting up to get them a couple of beers from the fridge. On his way back to the couch, he'd opened the curtains to the balcony so they could watch the snow fall.

It's after midnight when Stiles wakes up and makes a trip to the bathroom. He's turning all the lights off on his way back to the couch, falling easily back into his spot, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The trailer for the next movie starts to play and before long, Stiles has fallen asleep again, not even thinking about the fact that he could've went back to his room to sleep instead.

When Derek woke up, the first thing he saw was icicles. They were refracting the sun directly onto his face and when he tried to sit up, he found a weight on him that he hadn't felt in a long time. Looking over from where his head had ended up on the arm of the couch, Derek smiles at Stiles' sleeping form. One arm was tucked the the crevice between Derek's back and the couch, his had in the air from where it stuck straight up at the elbow. His other arm was draped over Derek's stomach, his hand cocked at an odd angle where it met with the couch. Lips parted, his face looked sweet compared to the weird angles his limbs had found themselves in his sleep.

His side is cramping and he really needs to go to the bathroom but he knows that if he moves Stiles will wake up and for once he wants to be selfish. He grabs his phone from where it had fallen between the cushions the night before and wastes some time looking through his Twitter feed before he finally decides to snap a quick picture of Stiles. He doesn't know why, there's now bit of drool soaking into his shirt and the scene is in no way elegant, but he likes it. It reminds him of a different time, a simpler time for the both of them.

By the time Stiles awakens, Derek is about to burst and immediately rushes to the bathroom, not waiting for Stiles to question their position or why his ex boyfriend hadn't woken him up sooner. When Derek gets back, Stiles has decided to play it off as nothing and has already started to make them some coffee.

It's an hour later, only a few minutes after Derek has left, when Stiles hears a knock on the door and figures Lydia had left her keys at home and was just now finding that out. He is completely taken aback when it's Derek standing there, looking sheepish and slightly annoyed.

“The door is stuck.”

“What do you mean the door is stuck?”

Stiles steps aside and lets Derek come back in and hang up his coat. “I mean just that. Your door swings out and it snowed so much and iced over, the door won't open.” He'd walked over to the balcony and pointed to the layer of snow and ice that created a snow drift against the door at least a foot deep. “It's up to my knees at the door outside.”

“Oh. Okay well...you're welcome to stay.”

They sit back on the couch, staring at the TV where Stiles had turned it on just before Derek knocked. It was on but when Stiles tried to navigate to any streaming service, a message about the internet keeps popping up.

“Great. Internet's out too.” Stiles groans, throwing his hands up and his head back. “Great, I ran out of data days ago and I might go insane if I sit here doing nothing.”

“Then let's find something to do.” Derek stands, hands on his hips, and looks around the apartment. It wasn't particularly large, but it was open. The living room itself was immaculate other than the dirty plates and take out containers that littered the coffee table. “Let's start with this and move onto the kitchen. If you're anything like...before, we'll have plenty of time to tackle your bedroom.” Derek says this while moving towards the kitchen, arms loaded down with dirty dishes. He's not facing Stiles so he can't see how red his ears get.

“Oh my God, Dereeeeek you know I hate cleaning.”

“Come on, it's not much. And you've got me. It's totally doable.”

“This is totally _not_ doable.” Stiles and Derek had cleaned the kitchen, going so far to get rid of outdated food and start a donation box of kitchen appliances and utensils they no longer used. Derek had brought the box when they'd gone towards Stiles' bedroom. He'd said it didn't look bad,really, until Stiles had fought the closet door open.

“I thought you were Mr. Hype man. You're supposed to be the light in the darkness. My Coach Carter.”

Derek snorts. “I'm just kidding. You think you're the only one allowed to make jokes?”

“Uhm yes, actually. That's my schtick, the funny guy. The comedic relief, if you will.”

Derek makes a noncommittal sound as he starts in on the items that have been unceremoniously shoved into the closet.

After a while, everything that was once in the closet is sitting out on the floor. Including the two men going through said items. The first thing Stiles had tossed towards the donation box was the set of crutches he'd had in there since his first winter in New York. Several shirts had been flung haphazardly towards the box as well and they were each going through a box that had been stacked in the back.

“I'm really surprised you still have this.”

Stiles looks over to where Derek holds up a paper airplane. It was a bit battered but still in tact.

“Hey! Don't criticize me. That was...important...” His face is red and he knows he can't hide it from Derek who smirks at him.

“You kept a paper airplane from the first group project we had together in a college class from five years ago? This was the thing you decided to keep? Out of all of it?”

“No. There's...dig in there a bit more. There should be the snow globe you got me for secret Santa that year.” He comes closer, digging around in the box until he finds something heavy wadded up in an old Tshirt. Carefully unraveling it, Stiles reveals the howling wolf encapsulated within the glass globe. He shakes it around almost violently before turning it to watch the snow fall.

“You're kinda shit at giving secret Santa gifts.”

“Oh my God, so sorry that the only thing I knew about you was that you came from California. I couldn't find one with a bear so this is what it was. Also, I distinctly remember that sitting beside your TV until-”

He didn't have to finish the sentence. Cheeks flaring, Derek picks the shirt up and shakes it out. It's actually _his_ shirt. One his sister had brought back for him from a business trip in China before he'd even met Stiles. He had forgotten about it completely until now. The memory resurfaces almost as intensely as Stiles' shaking the globe just a few moments before. It was one of the last weekends they'd spent together and Stiles had fallen into a fountain after trying to re-enact a scene from a movie and Derek had given it to him as they'd waited for his clothes to dry. He'd gotten the pajama pants back but now he realizes he'd never gotten the shirt back.

“I meant to give it back afterwards but I...couldn't face you.” He still couldn't face him, having turned away from Derek, fiddling with something else inside the box that was in front of him. There was silence for a while until Derek gets up and leaves the room.

Stiles sits by himself for a while, halfheartedly packing the things that he'd like to keep back into the boxes that inevitably go back into the closet. The floor isn't clear of items when Derek returns and takes his spot back on the floor. He notices the snow globe and air plane are missing but that his shirt is folded nicely on the edge of Stiles' bed. He looks lost for a moment and Stiles stops what he's doing to just stare at Derek.

He takes in his form, the way Derek's shirt is wrinkled from sleeping in it and how he hadn't been nice enough to offer another. He notices the lines between his brows, how hard he's concentrating on not being mad. He recognizes that once upon a time, Derek would've stormed out immediately. He wouldn't have taken the time alone to calm down, certainly wouldn't have come back. Stiles can see the effort Derek is putting in being there, not that he had much choice, but he sees and he appreciates the fuck out of it.

They clean up the rest of the closet, going through his clothes and other items, putting some in the donation box. Stiles finds an overly large one and offers it to Derek who smiles a bit when he takes it to the bathroom to change. Stiles moves back into the living room, turning the TV on out of instinct but is pleasantly surprised when the connection goes through.

“Hey, Derek, internet's back!” He watched Derek come up the hallway, the ends of his hair around his face wet with water.

“Oh that's good. Find something and I'll put a pizza in the oven.”

Stiles mutters an agreement, flipping through three different streaming apps to find a movie that would be good for them to watch in their current...predicament.

“Pick one: Kung Fu Panda or Real Steel?”

“Kung Fu Panda? Seriously?”

“What's wrong with it?”

“I never watched it before and I feel at this point that out of sheer stubbornness that I have to say no to animated Jack Black yet again.”

“Why must you be like this?”

“Utterly adorable and charming?” Derek's smile is plastic but it makes Stiles laugh and Derek's smile softens to something a little more real.

“See? You already know what the movie is! Come on!”

Derek groans but grabs the remote out of Stiles' hand and presses play.

“Yes!”

They're arguing about something in the movie, laughing and close, when the inevitable happens. Stiles gets in Derek's face, defending his favorite animated movie. He's got both hands on his Derek's shoulders, trying to shake some sense into him, they're both laughing and then they're kissing.

Stiles isn't sure who initiates it, but he can feel his fingers sliding down to those biceps, pulling Derek closer, his heart beating when he suddenly realizes what they're doing and he pulls away.

“What was that?” He's pulled away, out of Derek's orbit, watching as Derek starts to follow him only to stop short when he sees the panicked look on Stiles' face.

“What was what? We just...we just kissed.”

“I know! That's the point! Why?” Stiles pulls further away from Derek, his pulse hammering, heart in his throat and for a moment, he thinks how it might not be a bad thing to try-

_No._

“Stiles, I thought that...maybe I read you wrong but I thought we were getting closer and I just thought we could...you know, try again.”

“No, no, no. I've got to keep my priorities straight.”

“Your priorities? What has that got to do with anything?”

“Yeah, we said we'd just be friends and just being friends I can do.”

Derek was frowning, the hurt evident on his face. Stiles' chest was starting to ache and his hands got sweaty.

“But what if-”

“No, I can't fall in love with you..not again.”

“But why? Why would that be such a bad thing?” Derek's arms are out spread, as if showing his heart to Stiles.

“You said it yourself, I can't commit to anything. If I fall for you again, then that means that I can't even do something as simple as-”

“I meant committing to things that would make your life healthier so we could grow old together!” Derek's voice gets loud for a second before he hears himself and lowers it. “I meant you taking care of yourself. The only thing I ever wanted you to commit to was our relationship. I was ready, I was making payments on a ring and everything.”

With the best timing in the world, Lydia throws the door open, already halfway into saying something to Stiles when she sees the two on the couch. Derek, with his heart breaking again, Stiles, trying his best to keep it together.

“Is everything okay?”

“How did you get in?” It's Stiles, his voice quiet, eyes wide.

“I got the guy across the street to shovel the ice and snow. Paid him twenty bucks.”

Derek doesn't say another word, he just stands and grabs his coat off the hook by the door, not pausing to even put it on before storming out.

“What just happened?”

Tears start to stream down Stiles' face and Lydia is there in an instant.

An hour passes and Stiles is snuggled up on the couch, wrapped in his blanket, watching Dirty Dancing with Lydia as he tries not to lose it again.

She hadn't yet asked what was wrong or why there were boxes sitting in the hallway. She waited patiently, was still waiting as they watched their favorite post-breakup movie. They'd watched it the last time he and Derek had...well...

“He kissed me. Or...I kissed him. I don't know who started it.” Stiles spoke almost as if in a trance as Baby comes onto Johnny for the first time.

Lydia turns to look at him, a questioning look on her face. She'd learned that sometimes, you just have to let Stiles talk it out at his own pace.

“I don't know why, but I flipped. I panicked. He was kissing me and I was kissing back and-”

His words came to a halt as his phone started to ring. He jumped at it, heart in his throat, hoping it was Derek. When he saw that it was Scott, he threw the phone down and curled up on himself.

Lydia picked the device up and quietly spoke to Scott, moving through the apartment to explain what she knew.

“Scott said to call him back when you felt like you could talk. He says he's there for you no matter what but that he really thinks that you're thinking about this too hard. We agree that maybe it's....okay if you guys want to try again. Just think about it.” She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she placed his phone on the couch next to him. “I'm going to hop in the shower and if you want to, we can go get an early dinner and talk it out.”

They did talk it out and by that night, Stiles was staring at his phone, finger hovering over the call button next to Derek's name. He and Lydia had talked for a long time about pro and cons, about how, even if it still didn't go well this time that they can always break up again.

“Sometimes people are meant to come together for a short time, sometimes they're together at the wrong time. You jut never know until you try. Life is difficult and it's never going to be easy. _Especially_ when you're working on a relationship that's important.”

They had called Scott up when they'd gotten home and all talked together. Stiles had cried some more but it was because he was thankful for the friendships that he had cultivated. Happy that there were people that were there for him to lean on, and cry on, literally and figuratively.

Now he sat alone, on his bed, in his pajamas, body ready to sleep but mind and heart not fully with the program. He wasn't sure if he was ready to have that discussion with Derek but when would he ever? He'd avoided him for over a year last time and if they both really had changed, then what could it hurt?

He finally pressed the call button and listened to the phone ring.

It rang once.

Twice.

It continued to ring until he heard Derek's voice on the other end politely asking for the caller to leave a voicemail.

He didn't. He knew Derek would see that he had called and hoped that he knew for what reason.

Christmas passed and new years eve was quickly approaching them. He hadn't heard from Derek the entire time. Stiles had gone to his apartment and talked to a neighbor who said she hadn't seen him since before Christmas. He cursed himself, knowing full well that he had probably left to see his family early in light of recent circumstances. He was a business owner now, he could do as he pleased.

When he texted Erica to ask, she confirmed his suspicions, stating that he hadn't planned to be back until the new year.

Stiles sighed, and tried one more time to call Derek. The call ended after two rings and his heart sank.

He sent one text to Cora before he gave up.

_**Stiles: I know no one is happy with me right now and that's okay. I fucked up. I just want you to know that I realize I fucked up bad and that I would like to apologize. I understand if Derek never wants to talk to me again and that's okay. I hope you all had a good Christmas and that the New Year brings with it everything you ask for. 11:02** _

He saw when she read the text and wasn't surprised when she never responded.

That was okay. He'd ruined the best thing he'd ever had in his life –twice-- and now it was time to live with the consequences.

Stiles is feeling nervous as he and Lydia take the elevator up to the loft space Ethan had rented for the New Years Eve party. Erica had reminded him that morning that he better be there. He'd tried to make excuses to which she'd shot down. Somehow it had gotten through the grapevine that something had happened between him and Derek and she reassured him that Derek wasn't at the party and that he needed to come anyway.

_“Just because you two are on the outs doesn't mean we're not still friends.”_

Lydia looked stunning in a gold and black sequined dress while Stiles tried not to fidget in his black suit and bow tie she'd wrestled him into. Jackson was going to meet them there, preffering to arrive with the guy he'd started talking to.

When the elevator doors opened up, Stiles was stunned. The place looked great and there were way more than the handful of people he thought would be there. Large groups congregated together with people milling about in between, like comets in an asteroid field.

They'd been there maybe 20 minutes when they found Erica and Boyd out on the roof access. Erica was gorgeous in a floor length red gown with a plunging front. He started to wonder how she wasn't cold but quickly realized that not only had she imbibed in a lot of alcohol, she was also perpetually clinging to her boyfriend, who had love in his eyes any time he looked at her.

Stiles' face must have looked a certain way because Erica grabbed his arm and pulled him in close.

“You know, he's back in town. I tried to lure you both here but that didn't work. He's too heartbroken to even drink. But if that look on your face says anything, it means you're about to leave us high and dry and go get your man.” She winked at him before allowing him to drift away quietly.

He didn't even stop to find Lydia, knowing he could shoot her a quick text on the way out.

Being New Years Eve, the streets were packed and the taxi he'd managed to get couldn't make it the last few blocks to Derek's apartment. Stiles cursed himself as he had a flashback of telling Derek how cool it was that he could see the ball drop from his living room window the first New Years they were together. Now, he had to fight his way through crowds of people, out of breath as he jogged as fast as he could.

He didn't stop until he got to the steps leading into Derek's building. Snow had started to fall again, mingling with the confetti being blown from Times Square, and Stiles' lungs hurt from gasping in the cold air. The noise from the crowds just a couple streets over was loud in his ears as he fought to catch his breath.

Stiles pressed the buzzer for Derek's apartment, not wholly surprised when an answering buzz didn't sound. He could hear so much going on around him that he strained a ridiculous amount, waiting so long to hear it, hoping he had just missed it.

Heart racing, he pressed the intercom and let his heart spill out.

“Derek, listen. I know I fucked up. I don't know if Cora told you that I know that I did, but I did. I've changed a lot this year and when you needed me to show that change the most, I reverted to my old self and didn't treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. I'm willing to try again. Honestly. I've fallen in love with you again. I wanted to kiss you when we were hiking, even before then, I was freaking out when you were just trying to help me become a better version of myself because I was never truly over you. I deluded myself and tried to push those feelings so far down but it didn't work. I panicked when you kissed me or hell, maybe when I kissed you because I don't know who did it. I just...will you let me in. Please? You've helped make me the person I am today. You helped me check off every single item on my list and I'd like to keep you in my life so that we can better each other, year after year. How's about a new beginning?”

There Stiles stood there, waiting, _praying_ for an answer but none came. The lobby was half-lit and there was no sign that he would be getting a miracle tonight. He heard the countdown start and figured he had done all he could do.

He turned to walk back down the steps and stopped in his tracks.

There stood Derek, a brown bag under one arm, the other shoved into his pocket. A small smile sat on his lips, brows furrowed slightly in some emotion Stiles couldn't comprehend at the moment.

“I uhm...how long have you been standing there?”

“I've been here since the first round of frantically buzzing my apartment.”

Stiles could feel the heat enter the cold tips of his ears. “Oh.”

He watched as Derek walked closer, and up the short set of steps. He started to babble again, tears filling his eyes. Derek's free hand rested the the base of Stiles' neck and Stiles could finally name the emotion on his face.

Love.

“Stiles? Can we please talk about this next year? Because I'd really like to kiss you at midnight.”

“Haha. Very-” Derek leaned in and Stiles shut up immediately as a hundred voices broke through into the new year, cheering for happiness and new starts. And love.

They were cheering for love too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I had intended it to be up earlier in January but the last day works too I guess! I really hope you enjoyed this. Like I said, some of the strange ideas came from the prompts I was given. I hope to continue this to help me get better at writing. Not every monthly prompt will be with Stiles and Derek and I don't intend to write their relationship prior to this story.
> 
> Comments and creative criticism are always welcome! I hope everyone new year has been well thus far and continues to be that way into the future!


End file.
